I Hate the Bank

I've never heard of a good bank in Africa. Generally they're just varying degrees of awful. But I think I got a little bit spoiled by my regional bank in Madagascar, which was by far the least painful banking experience I've had in the developing world. No doubt that was in part because the director of that bank was a great guy and a friend, not to mention a lookalike of the "Bald Bull" character from the old Nintendo game, Mike Tyson's Punch-Out (which was later renamed Super Punch-Out after Nintendo apparently decided they didn't want to associate their product with a convicted rapist and lunatic). We'll just call him Maurice.

When I got here I was optimistic that my banking success would continue. The bank I was instructed to use here, Bank of Africa (BOA), was after all the same one I used in Madagascar. But whatever magic Maurice used to turn the tiny Fenerive-Est branch of BOA into a little slice of financial heaven is clearly missing from the Niamey behemoth of the same name. In almost three months I've probably been there 10 times now. Not once have I exited having accomplished everything I went in for. Every time I end up wandering down hallways knocking on unmarked doors asking for Madame So-and-So who's the one who's supposed to help me. Upon reaching Madame So-and-So, usually I don't get halfway through explaining my request before I'm redirected to Monsieur Such-and-Such. This usually goes on for an hour or so before they decide they've had their fun and they tell me to come back another day.

Today I found out that the application I filled out for a bank card on my very first visit back in mid-August (which would mercifully allow me to do at least some of my business through a machine rather than going inside and dealing with Mr. and Mrs. Whatever) had never been received, which is kind of funny because I filled it out right there at the counter. I don't think it got lost between my hand and the hand of the teller who took it from me. So I filled out another application and Madame happily assured me that this time they'd be sure to process it. I ought to be receiving my card in "one or two months".